i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
I lost my vibrator temporarily and for some unknown reason my first thought was that you might have stolen it. But then I realized you would never do that because you know it keeps me from killing people. But I am overtired and lacking in faith.
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
Randomize