I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
I read the police report. You asked the cop if you could use his in-car computer to update your facebook. No way you get out of a DUI.
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
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