I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
Randomize
