There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
At the ER, will you come pick me up... Had an allergic reaction, wanted to see if I could eat a peanut without dying... Do you how bad this is evolutionary, I would have died back in the days of survival of the fitest by now
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
Randomize
