the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
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