Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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