those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
Terrible idea I love it
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
Randomize
