You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
Randomize
