I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
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