the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
Randomize
