Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
why does being broke make me substitute dinner for vodka, Xanax, and two day old cupcakes? I don't like being fat, jittery and drunk.
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
Can I sleep on your couch? My wife just found my eHarmony account.
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
Randomize