Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
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