i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
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