her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
Randomize
