HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
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