My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
Randomize
