He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
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