You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
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