his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
Randomize
