I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
