His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
Randomize
