I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
Randomize
