AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
Randomize
