Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
Randomize