Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
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