It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
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