we have officially lost it.
I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
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