5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
Randomize
