Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
So... my daughter's new girlfriend Is the daughter of the girl I dated on and off in college Who ran away because she got pregnant at my house party. My Legitimate daughter Is probably fucking my Illegitimate daughter...
Randomize
