another moral hangover. fuck.
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
Randomize
