its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
Randomize
