We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
Just learned a valuable lesson today. Don't open snap chats from 3 am the next morning while sitting next to a small child. They totally saw your dick.
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
Randomize
