Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
Randomize
