Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
Randomize
