Umm I'm too high to move.
Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Randomize
