If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
Liz is crying about burritos again.
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
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