I'm so drunk that I ordered a root beer at the bar. Whoops?
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
Randomize
