saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
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