so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
Randomize
