idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
Silently passing ghastly beer farts as I move around the bridal department at Tiffany's. Call it my contribution to the holiday spirit.
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
Apparently "Do you want me to ruin your day now or later?" is not a good way to tell someone you're pregnant and it's theirs.
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
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