That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
Randomize
