he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
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