yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
when I woke up she was standing in the living room with a bottle of scotch because she is "allergic to hangovers"
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
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