I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
I was tripping balls on the bathroom floor and his dog walked in. The lights in his bathroom have motion sensors, so I thought his labrador retriever was Jesus.
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
I force fed him french fries and then proceeded to tell him how sexy corgi’s are … it’s safe to say he’s not texting me for a second date.
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