BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
this is an emotional support booty call
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
Randomize
