You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
i'm behind the bar giving him a hand job. i need stuff to make my foot stop itching.
okay, this is where i needed to clarify that i was kidding before when i said that jizz helps mosquito bites. but let me know how that goes. for future reference.
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
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