I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
Randomize
