That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
Randomize
