did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
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