I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
I'm training him to sit when I whistle the tune from the hunger games. I'm going to be the coolest parent ever.
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
Randomize
