He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
Randomize
