Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
Rumble strips road head = magical
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
It's rum buckets o'clock
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
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