Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
I wrote myself a note last night telling me to tell you that you're the best person ever, and asking you not to tell me what I did, I think I'm trusting my drunk judgment on that one.
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
Randomize