I can tuck mytits in my pants
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
Randomize
