He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
