I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
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