Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
Well I found out I was essentially dumped and replaced by a hipster and apparently offered a girl $95 to go out with me. In the spirit of the Olympics I will not be spending any time on the medal stand.
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
You caught me at a bad time. I'm stoned enough that I'm ready to sleep but also not stoned enough that I wanna smoke again but also stoned enough to not wanna drive anywhere
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
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