they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
Randomize
