I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
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